Being alone scares me.
I don’t remember the exact age I realized that I was more scared of being alone forever, than of snakes being in my bed. The only thing I remember is that fact scared me in itself. I had thought that nothing could be more scary than snakes but I was wrong. A lot of people can completely understand where I’m coming from with this, loneliness isn’t an absurd thing to be afraid of, I promise.
People were created to be with others and create a community. They were supposed to have friends. And they were supposed to want friends. And originally no one would have been afraid of losing anyone.
But that all changed, and now it’s normal.
Before I tell you what I think, I want to trail off. Fear isn’t something that’s fun. It doesn’t make you happy, in fact it tends to make you sad. The constant wondering and imagining wears you out and makes you emotionally open to taking small things very personally.So you’re scared to be alone and that’s making you depressed.
What do you do?
No one is ever truly alone, there are billions of people in this world and no one can ever be truly alone. People are going to notice you, you’re neighbors are going to know you live there, your family is going to know you’re part of their family and your teacher or manager is going to know when you’re at school or work. Knowing that you aren’t going unnoticed is sometimes soothing.
But you still feel like there aren’t any friends in sight.
If when you look around you see your friends with other people, I know how you feel. If your friends tell you straight out that they don’t want to be around you anymore, please don’t feel alone. Friends come and go, the one thing that never leaves is the desire to not be alone.
Instead of feeling alone, look around. If there are no friends in sight, look somewhere else. Who is the girl that smiles at you when you walk past her? Who is the boy that says hi when you sit down in class?
Sight is something that is very limited, we tend to only want to look at what we want to see. We block bad news of poor people and wars from our sight. We only want what is pretty, popular, or something we’re used to. So what if our old friends, friends we’re used to hanging out with are all we’re putting in sight. Look behind you (like figuratively by the way, I mean look behind you if you want but that’s not what I meant).
And next time that girl smiles at you, say hey. Next time that boy says hi, ask him how he is.
And never ever forget that not only are you leaning on God but you’re literally in His hands soooo you’re not alone.